Build me up buttercup...( disclaimer: its very long its a vent)

I have a tendency to build "things" "events" up so much that when that moment actually gets here no matter how good or how bad it is it ALWAYS fails in comparison:(  July is one of my favorite months of the year, seems like most great things happen to me in july:) I love the family, food, freedom, and of course fireworks:). I have only ever missed 2 fourth of july fireworks shows in my life. Once I was in south dakota and there wasn't a show for 300 miles.. and the second this year.I have spend the last month planning and perfecting my two little ones fourth of july outfits.. I planned each event and each outfit together.we had planned two ... then I spent the last few days tweaking and re-working my schedule and such. Well yesterday I got thrown a loop... my mom didn't have  a way to get there because her tags were expired and she had yet to get them fixed.. I thought oh no biggie we have a mini caravan going so we should be able to find a ride in one of the three cars... what I thought was no biggie caused me to re-evaluate my life and the people in it. Jason my husband wanted to ride Tynison me and him together( my daughter already had a ride) and my mom his mom and sister could ride together.. when my mom got here I quickly scooped the kiddos up and went to take pictures... hairstyle never lasts long for a 2 year old! off we went to take pictures. Time escaped me when Jasons mom pulled up- we went to load up and his mom looked right at me and said are you riding with us.. I said oh... sure that's fine.. then got a look from Jason before he quickly stomped back to his moms car dissappointment number one. I could tell he was angry but what he failed to realize I wasn' t happy either.. I think during all this he lost sight of this. So my mom ended up with me driving and tyn in between us.. Jasons mom pulled out of the driveway and unbeknownst to me was waiting for me to pull out... I thought I lost my wallet and was looking for it when ALAS found! so I go to back up and I see Jasons mom pulling back in followed by flashing blue lights!! she was being pulled over!! guess what for expired tags... fancy that..lol.. well the cop went on and we all left for the fireworks at our church. On the way there we stopped to get Burgundy a few sparklers and such. I got out and my mom got out... which left me to carry the 30 lb baby and seat- so my quiet peaceful sleeping baby is abruptly wakened by my weakness and inability to hold the carseat straight:( when Jason sitting not three cars down could have came and sat with him.. he didn't he sat in his moms car and stewed dissappointment number two.. We loaded back up and were off again... once we got to the church Jasons mom parked and I saw Jason head down the road toward the church. Was he really leaving me to get the wagon blankets cooler stroller and baby and baby bag together and walk it all myself? Yes he was dissappointment number three. oh but wait! here he came back.. oh but to take the baby- not the bags or stroller just the baby. dissappointment number four. So me and my mom left to carry all this stuff- all the way fending comments on wheres the baby?! My comment in my head I push this for fun..my comment aloud hahahah... i know right:)  trying not to let Jasons mood damper my own. So we finally find Jason and his family now to find Burgundy. I wondered around for what seemed like half an hour when Jasons mom suggested we go inside to see if they were in there- AH! brilliant!! and guess what they were! so fast forward a little farther in.. everyone comes inside- everyone is complaining about why we came so early.. first off thats when the pastor said it started was 5 second it was almost 7 at this point thirdly Burgundy was having a blast and it was way worth it to see her smile.. and fourth its about family for me..so time where we don't have to worry about housework, stress, chores.. nothing just straight honest good family time.. but to be honest I think I would have rather been a part of a different family that day.  At this point me husband had told me I couldn;t sit by him and said he was finsihed... so humiliated and degraded in front of everyone because of a 5-10 min drive. dissappointment number five. Everyone talked and the rest of the evening went well.. all except me and Jason.. Jason talked to everyone except me.. his wife. so instead of being cuddled up with my hubby and kiddos.. I was passing each kiddo around during fireworks.. dissappointment number six. The best thing that happened all night was seeing the light of the fireworks reflect in my angels eyes! She looked beautiful.. and the wonder in Tynisons eyes I wonder what he was thinking?! All of this over that little car ride. Yes I understand that it could have a should have been handled differently but what was done was done and it wasn't going to be changed... so in my world once we got to church that should have been the end of it...but it wasn't my favorite holiday tainted by a silly 5 min ride. He thinks he was the only one hurt but 24 hours later and its still affecting me. When we got home I sat and cuddled our little girl to sleep and he cuddled our little boy to sleep. We didn't say anything. I firmly believe that it is NOT ok to go to bed angry. He doesn't. So that left me thinking all night.. and me and thinking not so good. There were points I cried over our silly fights times I was so mad I could have thrown all his stuff off the balcony and even a point where I wanted to wake him up and hug him. He slept like a giant rock. I bet he didn't even give this fight another thought. Got up this morning and he acted like nothing ever happened.. here I was going through everything under the sun.. and he kissed me! how dare!!! Trivial I know. We went about for awhile just fine when it was time to go to my moms for lunch.. he said he has a headache.. does he not think there are times when I have headaches that I don't want to do something..?!This is our sons first fourth, our stolen day from work and life and he spent it away .... worst fourth ever! so here we are laying in bed.. just fine. What tom. bringings.. normality.